We're starting with Pam Moore, who is a writer, mother, coach, endurance athlete in Boulder, Colorado.
1.
You are
a popular author of articles related to parenthood, but I think we agree that
no one has all the answers in this area. Where do you find the inspiration and
information for your articles?
That’s easy… From real life!
I don’t know if a day goes by when something happens, whether it’s something
mundane or something extraordinary, where I don’t stop and think “I could write
about this!” It turns out, the more painful the experience, the better fodder
it is for my writing. Writing not only helps me to process the event, but it
also helps me see it in a new way, to find the humor it, and best of all, when
I finally publish it, I find those types of pieces elicit a strong reaction in
my readers. There is nothing more gratifying to me as a writer, than hearing “I
felt that way too when x, y, or z happened to me.” Just as an example, my
daughter cried and carried on like I was kidnapping her when I picked her up on
the first day of preschool a couple of years ago. I was hurt, embarrassed, and
angry, but then when I wrote about it I found it was not only kind of funny, but
this kind of thing is not an uncommon experience parents of preschoolers.
2.
You are
also a mother, coach, and endurance athlete (she's done two Ironmans, people!). What has been the most challenging
aspect of balancing all of these roles, and how do you manage?
I’m not a morning person. I
never have been. Yet I remain optimistic that I can be. So that leads to a lot
of me scheduling things (work, a workout, meditation) in the early morning,
which I sleep through, despite my best intentions. So being realistic about
time management is hard for me.
One thing I have been doing
lately, however, is hiring a sitter at least once a week (in the afternoon,
when I will for sure be awake!) blocking out that time for work. The
alternative was squeezing work into all the little nooks and crannies of my
day, and often not being present enough for my kids, which make them cranky,
which made me cranky, and was not sustainable. Once in a while I run on the
treadmill while they watch something on the iPad.
Another thing that has been
super-helpful is a shared Google calendar that my husband and I use religiously
since we had our first kid. Not only do we always invite each other to
everything we do, we also use the Google calendar to block out time for
ourselves. So for example, I’ll “invite” him to run with my girlfriends or to
work at a coffee shop for a couple of hours, but what I really mean is, “Please
stay home with the kids while I do these things.” The other thing we’ve been
doing ever since becoming parents is having a standing morning schedule. We
switch off mornings, where one person gets all the early morning time to sleep,
exercise, or work, while the other person gets up with the kids. I like the
simplicity of not having to discuss that part of our schedule.
3. If your children could take away one lesson from your experiences (personally, professionally, or otherwise), what would you want it to be?.
Be yourself.
It’s so easy to get stuck being worried about what
other people will think of you, or how you compare to your peers, colleagues,
or competitors, but I think if you staying true to yourself will solve most
problems. For example, I love writing. I always have. I had a friend who
discouraged me from writing when I started blogging in 2007, and I could have
listened to her. Instead, I just kept doing what I brought me joy (writing
about topics that grab my attention), and over time, by consistently continuing
to do that, I’ve established a career as a writer, which is something I’d only
ever dreamed of ten years ago.
I had a similar experience
with sport. I had a lot of hang-ups about taking sports seriously, especially
when I set out to do my first Ironman, as I’d been highly unathletic as a kid.
I had a hard time letting go of that self-perception. But I kept pressing on,
just taking one race at a time, doing it just because I loved it, and in the process
I’ve become a fitter, smarter athlete, and I’ve started taking on coaching
clients.
4. Tell us about the most
challenging or disappointing situation you’ve had to overcome (personally or
professionally) and how you did it.
I am kind of embarrassed to
admit I’ve led a pretty charmed life, thus far. (Knock wood). The most
challenging thing I’ve gone through was being diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy when
my 2nd child was ten days old. Bell’s Palsy is when half your face
is paralyzed. Although medication is available to potentially speed the
recovery, my doctor said the evidence wasn’t necessarily in favor of it, plus
we didn’t know whether the meds were safe for breastfeeding. I opted not to
take them, as 90% of cases completely resolve spontaneously (e.g. without meds)
within 6 month. My case never healed completely, though it’s close, and it took
over a year.
During that first year of my
second daughter’s life, I was extremely anxious, wondering if my face would
ever go back to normal. My face was mostly functional (though I had a hard time
drinking through a straw, and pronouncing certain sounds at first, and only
recently have discovered I can whistle again). I am thankful I didn’t have any
pain, as some people do, but I was really uncomfortable in social situations,
just because my face looked awful. Half of it would smile and the other half
would just do nothing. It looked creepy, for lack of a better word.
So I was anxious about that,
extremely sleep-deprived just from having an infant, my world was upside down
as a stay at home mom caring for a toddler and a baby. Also, the baby was
difficult, where my first had been a pretty easy baby. On top of acupuncture
appointments for my face, I was also going to physical therapy to rehab a
diastasis recti (that’s when your abs separate, a fun side effect of carrying
and birthing a 9 lb 6 oz baby!), plus I was seeing a therapist just because I
was so sad and anxious and stressed. And on top of all that I put a lot of
pressure on myself to keep writing, to exercise regularly, and I was
co-producing The Listen To Your Mother Show. I felt like I needed those things
to feel productive and to feel like myself. It was just a really hard year.
As far as how I did it? I
just pushed through and kept trying to do everything, I guess because I felt
like I’d be “giving up” otherwise. But I look back and wish I’d cut myself more
slack. I wish I could say I got through it by taking one day at a time or by
doing yoga, or committing to a gratitude practice. I just plowed through it and
the only thing that really helped was the passing of time and the fact that the
baby did eventually figure out how to sleep through the night. Although she is
now three and she still struggles with that!
 |
| Pam's hilarious book, which is actually a collection of her blog posts tracking her development as an athlete and mom. |
5. If endurance sports (or
parenting) had walk-up music, what would be your song and why?
Roar by Katy Perry. In part
because it’s one of the few songs that make me want to dance that aren’t about
sex and don’t include profanity. Just kidding! (Kind of). To me, the message of
this song is, it took me a while to figure out who I am and what I stand for
but, now I’ve got it figured out, so watch out because I’m gonna be loud and
proud about it. I love that. It’s so inspiring.
And, to be clear, I don’t
always feel like I’ve got things nailed down as a parent… As a mom, I am
constantly figuring things out as I go (or trying to), so this song is apropos
because
a) I believe in faking it
till you make it
and
b) I want my daughters to take this message of not apologizing for your own presence to heart.
b) I want my daughters to take this message of not apologizing for your own presence to heart.
Interested in having Pam speak, write, or coach for you or your organization? Here's how you can find her:
Instagram: pammoore303
Twitter: @PamMooreWriter
FB: /whatevsblog
Twitter: @PamMooreWriter
FB: /whatevsblog
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